A Publication of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Oakland
Catholic Voice Online Edition
Front Page In this Issue Around the Diocese Forum News in Brief Calendar Commentary
     
Mission Statement
Contact Us
advertise
Circulation
Publication Dates
Back Issues


Roman Catholic Diocese of Oakland



Movie Reviews

Mass Times



Web
Catholic Voice
 
CURRENT ISSUE:  April 9, 2012   •   VOL. 50, NO. 7   •   Oakland, CA
Other front page stories
 
Vatican will learn about our diocese
 
Rally for religious freedom draws a crowd in San Francisco
 
Field no longer a dream at St. Paul School
No More Secrets offers a space to share
 

Anger was in the room when the No More Secrets group met on March 31. The news had not been easy for them just days before this meeting. Once again, sexual abuse of young people by priests had been in the headlines. These were not new cases, but, like their own, decades old. But still the news stung.

 
No More Secrets
Meets six times a year
St. Elizabeth Elementary School
Faculty Room
1516 33rd Ave., Oakland
Information: 510-843-6971
Next meeting: June 2,
11 a.m.-1 p.m.
 
But here in this place people could talk about the news and how it made them feel. And they knew that others would understand their pain — and their progress toward healing. The old wounds may have brought tears to eyes and anger into voices, but the room also reverberated with sounds of hope, of people who are finding their voices and feeling their power.

The number of people, men and women, who attend these meetings varies from session to session, but the door is always open to newcomers.

Information
Survivors of sexual abuse by clergy may also contact:
Sister Glenn Anne McPhee, OP
Victims Assistance Coordinator
Diocese of Oakland
2121 Harrison St., Suite 100
Oakland, CA 94612
510-267-8334
gmcphee@oakdiocese.org
 
 
Creating a safe place where victims of clergy sex abuse can gather, every other month, to share their stories and concerns takes the effort of many people.

There's Sister Glenn Anne McPhee, OP, chancellor of the Diocese of Oakland. There's Claire Jeannette, a Berkeley marriage and family therapist who facilitates the session. Two deacons — Albert Dizon and Larry Quinn — are dedicated to ministry to survivors of clergy sexual abuse. With their wives, Yolly Dizon and Marivic Quinn, they bring a prayerful presence, as well as a hearty lunch, to these gatherings.

On this rainy Saturday morning in Oakland, in the bright faculty room of St. Elizabeth Elementary School, survivors met with Sister Glenn Anne, Jeannette and the Dizons.

The group sat in chairs arranged in a circle. From the ceiling above, small banners offered encouraging words. Among them: "Be happy, be healthy, be kind to yourself." "Cultivate hope" and "Come spirit, bring peace."

Jeannette offered a mediation to begin the session. When eyes opened, the conversation began.

 
Related Stories:
What if we must listen, believe, act to prevent child abuse

New book, national conference to be hosted at SCU May 11
 
A topic fresh on their minds was the March 29 California Supreme Court ruling that said that six brothers, who say they were molested in the 1970s, had missed the statute of limitations to sue the Diocese of Oakland.

Supreme Courts, state and federal governments, got their share of anger. The state for its ruling on the statue of limitations; the federal for the health care debate the week before.

One survivor listed the news that had troubled her in the past few weeks — the courts; Trayvon Martin, the Florida teenager killed by a Neighborhood Watch volunteer; and women's rights.

"All the media comes home and sits on my lap," she said, adding later, "I'm not going to turn off the news."

The difficulty families face getting health care was troubling, and another example of people being victimized, she said.

"I want to create my own space," she said. "I want to walk above it."

Jeannette said: "It's one thing to hear the news, another thing to feel the news."

The first survivor said she had heard a story lately of a gymnastics coach accused of molesting little girls. "We know it's not just priests," she said. "We have to live with this," she said. "This isn't changing. Domination and submission required."

But the laws need to better protect the victims. "But if you're three days past your 26th birthday, forget it," she said.
"I think I'm tired of being angry," she said.

The other survivor said she felt bad for the men who had lost the Supreme Court case, even though, she said, she had not sought compensation for the abuse that had happened to her decades ago.

She said it took her 42 years to return to church. "When I came back, it was different," she said. When she left, she said, "The priest was standing at the altar, facing it." When she came back, she said, "I didn't know the hymns."

She has since joined the choir.

Her faith was reaffirmed in a moment she recounted.

"I thanked God for being here," she said. As she touched her hand to her heart, she told the group she had felt a little palpitation. "This is what heaven feels like — pure love."

She told a priest about it, who replied, "God sometimes gives us glimpses of heaven."

"If I ever start feeling bad," she said, "I tell myself, 'Don't forget that feeling.'"

During the conversation, they talked about their commitment to doing their part to assure the safety of others.
"Why do they become perverts and violate people? They're up there as a priest and privately do bad things to people," said the second survivor.

"The Oakland Diocese has done a good job," said the first, in conducting background checks on men entering the seminary. "I feel good about that part," she said.

The second added that support groups like No More Secrets help. "I don't know other churches that do this. If they knew what it does for people…"

But the Catholic Church needs to go further, they said, reaching out in the community to identify abusers and keep them away from children.

"Being active in church has helped me," said the second survivor, who is working with the Safe Environments ministry.

"The Safe Environment program is dynamite," said the first. "It's powerful and it makes me feel a lot better about the church."

But they expressed concerns for the future. They were never going to let down their guard.
One small anecdote offered a taste of the progress toward finding one's voice. One of the survivors had been in a church group meeting and felt a remark made to her by a member of the clergy had been unnecessarily harsh.
Upon returning home, she called him and left a message saying so.

She received an apology.

As the session progressed, participants took some time to gather at the table the Dizons prepared for lunch.

At the end of the two hours, they gathered in prayer and thanksgiving, holding hands and sharing insights from the day. They were ready to go back into the world. Sunshine greeted them at the door.


What if we must listen, believe, act to prevent child abuse

"Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime."
— Herbert Ward


One of the most tragic of abuse stories has come to light from the halls of Miramonte Elementary School in Los Angeles. The number of children affected will probably never be known. The reported abuse, at the hands of teachers, has been going on for several years. Who can guess at the number of students past and present who spent their days in the presence of these adults … These teachers whose charm and charisma endeared them to peers and to students, alike. What if …

 
Safe Environment
April is Child Abuse
Prevention month
Abuse prevention materials:

Brochures, articles and communications, links:
www.oakdiocese.org/ministries/safe-environment

Official website of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops:
www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/child-and-youth-protection
 
• The administration and staff knew and recognized the signs that something inappropriate appeared to be going on and knew how to pursue this suspicion?

• The students themselves knew and believed in their own right to be safe and secure.

• Parents knew to be proactive and ask their children about their days, keeping communication open, without judgment.

• Parents knew to teach their children to respect adults, BUT with the caveat that adults are not always right. An adult that makes a child uncomfortable by action or word needs to be avoided and, perhaps, reported.

• Children knew to recognize when touching, gift-giving, keeping secrets is not OK.

• The students were taught to recognize abuse in any form and how to take action against it by getting help.

• The students knew to report and to keep reporting until an adult LISTENED, BELIEVED AND ACTED.

April is Child Abuse Prevention month. The work of abuse prevention is on-going and the responsibility of every person. During this month parishes, schools and all diocesan organizations are asked to promote awareness and further education by providing information related to recognizing, signs and symptoms, responding and reporting abuse. At the website of the USCCB office of the Secretariat for Child and Youth Protection there are several articles related to on-going education about abuse in all its forms.

Use this information, in whole or part, to educate and increase awareness, as well as, to provide knowledge and skills for prevention. The Safe Environment tab on this site offers materials including bulletin announcements, homily suggestions, brochures and other resources that may be copied and distributed.

Our work is rooted firmly and forever in the Gospel. The challenge of preventing abuse in all its forms is a vital part of our work for our children. We again commit ourselves to the promise to protect and the pledge to heal. While we cannot undo the past we can make certain that we have the training and knowledge to help prevent abuse in the future …that we are able to respond to the "what if" questions positively and proactively.

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of overcoming it." — Helen Keller

(Marilyn Marchi is Safe Environment Project Coordinator for the Diocese of Oakland.)


New book, national conference to be hosted at SCU May 11

Santa Clara University Psychology Professor Thomas Plante and former FBI and U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops' Office of Child Protection executive Kathleen McChesney are editors of a book on sexual abuse in the Church.

They, along with more than a dozen other experts, will gather for a national conference from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. May 11 at Santa Clara University to discuss the topic, especially how it has played out in the last decade.

There will be a keynote address by Father Tom Reese, SJ, and Reflections on the Dallas Charter of the USCCB in 2002 as well as Reflections on Church Culture.

An afternoon keynote address will be given by Karen Terry, followed by Reflections from Victims and Clergy, and Reflections on Clergy Screening, Formation and Treatment.

The event will conclude with a panel, "Where Do We Go From Here?"

Additional speakers include Rev. Gerald D. Coleman, SS, moral theologian; and Rev. Richard Vega, a priest of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles who presently serves as president of the National Federation of Presbyteral Councils.

Additional details about the conference, speakers and panels are available online at www.scu.edu/ecppm/cpd/cec/Clergy-Abuse-Conference-2012.cfm.

— The Valley Catholic

Next Front Page Article

back to topup arrow

home

 
Copyright © 2011 The Catholic Voice, All Rights Reserved. Site design by Sarah Kalmon-Bauer.