By Carol Zimmermann
Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON (CNS) — Although U.S. dioceses require most couples to give at least a six-month notice before planning a wedding, the time frame is not meant to simply give couples more time to work out all the necessary details.

The liturgy is at the heart of a Catholic wedding. CNS PHOTO/MIKE CRUPI

Instead, it is meant to give couples sufficient preparation time to form strong, lasting marriages.

Before couples get too caught up in the details about guests, wedding attire, food, music and photographers, they should take the time to carefully plan the focus of the day — the wedding liturgy. The Web site, www.foryourmarriage.org, sponsored by the U.S. bishops’ Committee on Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth, can steer couples through the specific requirements for a Catholic wedding.

For starters, couples need to talk with the parish priest and reserve a wedding date on the parish calendar. They also need to find out what the parish allows and expects in the wedding celebration. Many parishes offer specific help and resources for couples and even have wedding coordinators.

Early on in the wedding planning process couples will need to attend a marriage preparation program. These programs are set up in a variety of formats such as intensive weekend programs, weekly meetings and “in home” mentor couple programs. Couples can find what programs are available near them by contacting their diocesan family life office.

Couples do not have to start from scratch when it comes to making plans for their wedding liturgy. Most parishes have been doing weddings for a long time and they know all the ins and outs of the process. Couples usually meet with a priest or parish representative who will walk them through what they need to plan.

The bride and groom can choose optional prayers in the liturgy and also pick the Scripture readings from a selection of Old Testament and New Testament options. Couples also can compose petitions for the prayer of the faithful and select people to do the readings.

As far as the wedding music, the parish organist or music director can offer choices for the sung and instrumental music.

“Music that does not speak of God’s role in your marriage is best reserved for the wedding reception,” said Paul Covino, editor of “Celebrating Marriage: Preparing the Roman Catholic Wedding Liturgy.” He also is associate chaplain and director of liturgy at the College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, Mass.

Couples also can decide if they want to repeat the wedding vows after the priest or deacon or to memorize them. Father Rick Hilgartner, associate director of the Secretariat of Divine Worship for the U.S. bishops, suggests that couples memorize their vows “to experience the exchange of consent in a more powerful way.”

He also said that when couples spend time memorizing the vows they have the chance to ponder their meaning and “hopefully remember the words for years to come, as the words take on more and more meaning in their day-to-day love and care for each other.”

In an article on the bishops’ marriage Web site, Father Hilgartner also pointed out how the wedding entrance procession should be. He said it should not just be the bride walking down the aisle escorted by her father, but the bride and groom following the liturgical ministers and escorted by their parents.

“The bride and the groom enter freely and equally into marriage, and the entrance procession symbolizes that, as the couple approach the altar to stand before the Lord,” he said.

Father Hilgartner also stressed that above all, the wedding liturgy is an act of worship. “As such, it is a time to offer praise and thanks to God for his gifts, and to seek his continued blessings and help.”

As couples complete plans for the wedding liturgy and the reception, they are also advised to take time for personal prayer.

“A Catholic Bride’s Wedding Planner” written by Tracy Becker in 2009 urges couples to start a wedding novena nine days before the wedding and receive the sacrament of reconciliation the day before the big date.

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