By Amy Crudo
Special to The Voice

Have we reached a tipping point where traditional, some say old-fashioned, values may be the very prescription to ease the pain of parents and kids in high pressured and overly competitive communities?

CMadeline Levine

Clinical psychologist Madeline Levine says yes. Nuture the home, the marriage and truly see the child in front of you, she told 450 parents and teachers gathered at Corpus Christi School in Piedmont last month.

She urged them to find the boundaries they might have lost along the way and to redefine success for their children as integrity, loyalty, self control and learning rather than solely performing.

Levine’s advice comes from over 25 years as a renowned clinician and parenting expert. Her best selling book, “The Price of Privilege, How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids,” inspired the Piedmont gathering of parents.

Each falls somewhere on the parenting spectrum, from optimal to intrusive, she asserted, noting that some parents get so involved in a child’s life that they disallow the freedom for a child to try and fail and learn and succeed. Taking these opportunities from our children is fashioning a generation lacking a sense of self, she said.

Levine cites the pressures from families and a disconnection to the larger world as reasons for kids who “are not robust enough to tolerate failure.”

She encouraged exposing children to the larger world and giving them a sense of how they can help make it better. The resulting sense of meaning reduces the emphasis on overachievement and will lead to more creative, cooperative and balanced children and adults, she said. Communities will pay the price of privilege unless parents commit to some common sense and traditional values, she added.

Levine offered practical tips, including getting a good night’s sleep, having regular family dinners, and recognizing the importance of down time.

Father Leo Edgerly, pastor of Corpus Christi Parish, reminded those in attendance of a quote from Kahlil Gibran, that children are the arrows, to the parental bow, meant “to go swift and far.”

Katie Murphy, principal of Corpus Christi School, said, “We have the power to lead our youth in the right direction and if we are indeed at a tipping point, things are leaning the right way.”

(Amy Crudo is a freelance writer and parent at Corpus Christi School.)

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