February 5, 2007VOL. 45, NO. 3Oakland, CA

Teens who get an abortion
need special care, comfort

By Gretchen R. Crowe
Catholic News Service

ARLINGTON, Va. (CNS) -- Warm chocolate chip cookies, the scents of vanilla and lavender, and chair massages make all the difference in ministering to teens who have had abortions, said Vicki Thorn, founder of Project Rachel, the post-abortion healing ministry of the Catholic Church.

These methods help move teens from feeling fear to feeling someone cares about them, she said. She added that post-abortion ministry must include not just women but other family members, especially men, who should be invited to share their grief.

Thorn, director of the Milwaukee-based National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, outlined the ways that this specific line of work has changed in her 23-plus years of ministry, especially in the last one to two years.

She spoke Jan. 19 in Burke Hall at the Cathedral of St. Thomas More in Arlington.

“We see women much sooner now than we did in the past,” she said. It used to be that women would seek help five to 10 years after an abortion.
But a new generation of women is having abortions, she said, and often they seek help soon after getting an abortion and before what would have been the due date of the aborted child.

“I believe the abortion doesn’t end until she’s past that marker point,” Thorn said.
Ministers must take a different approach with younger women because teen brains are different from fully developed brains. Peak development is age 25, according to Thorn.

The chemicals cortisol, the “fear alert,” and oxytocin, associated with love, have control of the teenage brain. Because of the stage of their brain development, teens operate out of their fear center, which results in a lack of clear thinking, Thorn said.

“Women will tell you, ‘I’m not in my right state of mind,’” she said. “She is caught here in this web of fear,” and needs to be moved chemically into a self-preservation mode. This can come from something as small as a touch on the hand from another woman, being surrounded with calming colors and scents, and, yes, even cookies.

“When she comes in, she is scared to death. You are the counselor. She doesn’t know who you are, but you are the authority figure,” Thorn said. “When you sit down with her and ask her if she wants cookies, you just changed her mold. You become the caregiver.”

The teen’s brain goes from operating on cortisol to operating on oxytocin.
“You can’t deal with the fear, but you can deal with her once she’s comfortable,” Thorn said.

Thorn stressed the importance of listening to the woman who has just had an abortion.

“Don’t talk about the baby, especially if she is a teen,” she said, so as to not scare her away.

Instead, listen to her, give her information and help her decide if she needs to get medical care, she told her listeners.

The young woman needs to eat, especially protein, and she needs to exercise, Thorn said. She needs to sleep. If she’s having nightmares, encourage her to take a 20-minute power nap, she added.

“Sometimes it’s just being patient and letting her tell the story,” Thorn said. “She is processing. And we need to be supportive of that. It’s having that safe space to be where she is right now. We become that compassionate person who’s there.”

If the woman has not yet passed her due date, explain to her that it is normal if she doesn’t feel healing begin until the pregnancy term is complete.

“You gotta finish the process,” Thorn said.

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