 |
|||||||||
 |
|||||||||
|
|||||||||
January
23, 2006
VOL.
44, NO. 2Oakland,
CA
Former addict finds healing, God through art
From the time he was fourteen, Jose Iuerdo used heroin
to shut down his feelings.
Not any more. Today, the 62-year-old Mexican-American, a former prison
inmate and recovering addict, uses watercolors and tempera paints to express
his emotions. Clean and sober for three years, Iuerdo began participating
in art therapy at St. Mary’s Senior Center “Recovery 55”
program as part of his treatment for both drug addiction and bipolar illness.
St. Mary’s in downtown Oakland sponsors a holistic recovery program
for homeless seniors which helps move them into housing, gain employment,
receive SSI and Social Security benefits, and participate in counseling
and 12-step recovery programs. There are also weekly sessions in drumming
and art.
The art program is a vehicle for self- expression and, in Jose Iuerdo’s
case as a way to help manage his bipolar symptoms, including the committee
of terrifying, contradictory voices in his head which ruled his life for
so many years, according to Susan Werner, resident art therapist at St.
Mary’s.
“With painting,” said Iuerdo, “I express what is in
my mind—the thoughts of suicide, the vision of black cliffs.”
But by the time Iuerdo’s feelings pour out from the paintbrush on
to the canvas, they have taken on another life – gloom and despair
melt and transform into hope-filled profusions of “orange for energy,”
he explained. “Green for earth themes. Red for passion and sensibility.
Light blue for heavenliness and compassion. Dark blue for holiness.”
His art therapy sessions have emerged into something far beyond what he
initially anticipated. They have released him into the joy of creativity.
Through painting has come an unexpected bonus – perhaps the most
significant part of his recovery.
“He has discovered that there is more to himself than his mental
illness and addictions,” said his teacher. “His images emerge
out of his opening to a God-presence within.”
Iuerdo adds, “These are moments of paradise that are powerful and
miraculous.”
Miraculous is exactly the right choice of words for his healing and what
has since transpired in recent months. The dozen paintings depicting the
12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which Iuerdo created during Werner’s
classes, are now on display through the first week of February in the
student center at Patten University in Oakland. The show is entitled “Metamorphosis.”
John Skaggs, a professor of sacred art at Patten, made arrangements for
the show after Iuerdo spoke to one of his classes.
More aspects of Iuerdo’s good fortune: a few months ago, seven of
his paintings were part of an exhibit at a national convention of the
American Association of Art Therapists in Washington, D.C.
Last year, he received a Pell Grant, enabling him to study social work
at Merritt College.
He currently serves as an advocate for mentally-ill people, telling his
own story to help decrease the stigma of mental illness. He has testified
on behalf of affordable housing at the Alameda County Board of Supervisors
meetings.
Iuerdo recently traced some of the “before” and “after”
details of his life.
Born in West Oakland, and a descendant of Yaqui Indians in Colorado, he
grew up in chaos. He and his younger brother were left to fend for themselves
while their parents worked as welders in the shipyards. “Life was
not exactly conventional,” he said.
By the time he was 10, he had learned the drug trade. “I made good
money in those days -- $5 to $10 a trip, delivering drugs on my bicycle.”
There were other bonuses: “I’d give a wino money to buy a
bottle of wine, and he’d buy me one as well.”
He said that pimps and prostitutes were “like my family.”
By the time he came to the attention of the California Youth Authority
at age 14, Iuerdo was hooked on heroin. The rest of his life morphed into
a steady, predicable pattern -- doing jail time, getting out, robbing
banks to support his drug habit, and then going back to the slammer.
His stays in prison included stints at both San Quentin and Pelican Bay.
“I thought that robbing banks was my trade. I knew nothing else.”
Finally in 2003, out of jail once more, Iuerdo was high on heroin, delusional
and hungry. His friend, Conrad, a one-time fellow inmate at San Quentin,
took him to St. Mary’s for a hot meal. Iuerdo recalled, “When
we finished eating, this nice lady who worked there asked me, ‘How
would you like to stop shooting heroin?’” She invited him
to return the next morning to a recovery meeting.
His initial reaction was to ask why she would care about him. Conrad said
he would go if his friend would come along. Since Conrad had a car, Iuerdo
decided to check it out.
The social worker made him another offer that morning. She would help
him find housing if he’d slow down on his drug use. He did, and
a place to stay emerged. He began going to 12-step meetings where he learned
about a higher power.
“I had a spiritual awakening. The first time I felt God in my life,
I stopped getting loaded.”
Then came the painting class with Susan Werner. The rest is history.
“Art has made my life take off,” says Jose Iuerdo gratefully.
Both painting and his 12-step recovery “have allowed me to find
my God.”
Today Iuerdo still paints “whenever it hits me.” But now there
is an equally strong passion, a new dream in colors of green, dark blue,
red and orange. He wants to start a combination recovery facility with
both transitional and residential housing.
“No one can take this dream from me,” he says quietly. Then
he adds a quote from a new-found literary mentor, introduced to him, by
Susan Werner -- Thomas Merton. “My only desire is to please God.”
Jose Iuerdo’s powerful painting, “The Committee,” graphically depicts the conflicting, snarling voices which were giving him unhealthy messages about himself. His true, centered self faces outward with calmness and peace.
Jose Iuerdo is shown with Susan Werner and the painting he created of his teacher in gratitude for the class he took from her at St. Mary’s Senior Center.
